A Way to Think About Fear

You ever hear something along the lines that we are only bothered by the things we allow ourselves to be bothered about?  Like someone can say something or do something to you but that’s not really what bothered you about it.  It’s how you chose to react to it.  Someone speaks to you disrespectfully and you’re not able to tell them to fuck off.  Then you start spiraling for days replaying the incident in the back of your head.  You think of all the things you could have said.  You think of all the things you will say if you run into them again.  You torture yourself night after night.  And most likely, this isn’t the only incident you have playing on a loop.  You have a whole collection. 

Maybe it even starts messing with your confidence and decision making.  You start making some bad choices and eventually reap the consequences.  Thus, resulting in even more things that keep you up at night.  And so essentially, you’re torturing yourself. 

And that’s actually really important to understand.  The worst things that you are feeling, the bad choices you are making and the absolute shittiness that you have surrounded yourself with is coming from you. 

Now I know you might want to just ex out of the site and tell me to fuck off but wait there’s more!  I actually have a positive point to make. 

So maybe all this is coming from yourself right?  Then let me ask you a question.  Why fear anything else?  Like what is there in the world that is worse than how you’ve already treated yourself?  Nothing.  Essentially the world is a stuffed animal that tells you, “I love you,” when you squeeze it, when you compare it to what you’ve already done to yourself. 

And that’s empowering.  That means you’re in control.  You actually never lost control.  You never ended up lost.  You were always in the driver seat and on the flip of a dime, you can change whatever you want in your life.  You’re pain, is actually in your control.  You are the beast that you fear in the dark, so why fear anything else?

And on that note, yeah you hurt yourself in the process of figuring out life.  But that’s also capability.  You are extremely capable.  Again, you never lost your power.  You were just aiming it wrong.  If you are able to experience these things to such an extent, you are capable of making yourself experience the life you are afraid to have.

What do you have left to fear?  Just go out there and try to live the life you want.  There will be speed bumps as you learn.  But you are extremely capable and any suffering you might experience is in your control.  You got this!

All the best,

Andreas