Hello Hello,
Stop me if you heard this one. You barely studied for the test today. In fact, you studied in the hallway 10 minutes before it was handed out. Your classmates look at you with pity.
“Come on man, why didn’t you study? You’re not taking this seriously.”
You hand in the test. The comments keep coming but this time from your friends.
“You have to grow up.”
“You’re not taking your future seriously.”
“You have no work ethic.”
At first, you defend yourself. You give them all the reasons in the world why you are trying, and that you do work hard but it just doesn’t’ look like it sometimes. But the defense fades as the “advice” continues.
“You should be studying more.”
“You’re such a kid.”
It gets to you. It gets in your head. You’re not burnt out from studying? Then you must not have studied enough. You weren’t anxious before, but now you are. Shit, you’re going to fail the test. Maybe you are an idiot.
Test comes out. You got an A. In fact, you have one of highest grades in the class.
You don’t want to be a dick. But hey guys, I didn’t do too bad.
“Well you got lucky.”
Yeah I got lucky. Again and again I got lucky.
How many times? How many times did you study like them and fail? How many times did you get an A doing your own thing? How many times does this happen until one day you start whispering under your breath.
Fuck you guys.
I thought I was alone. I had to figure out how my brain worked by myself. All while the world said I should be a failure.
Recently it’s come to my attention that there are other people that work like I do. Who have had to go through the same trouble I have. Who have to defend themselves for how they think and learn.
My goal in creating this site is to share what I’ve learned in hopes that it could help someone like me avoid a lot of the difficulties of doing this alone. Even if it doesn’t help. I hope that you could feel that you are not alone.
And I hope through my work you understand that you are not broken.
All my best,
Andreas